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How to stop being a doormat & speak up for yourself

boundaries confidence Apr 27, 2023

Are you tired of being walked all over like a welcome mat by Karen from work? Sick of their endless requests, demands and general annoying behaviour? Don’t worry! I’ve got you covered with some tips to help you deal with those people…

☀️ Tip #1: Speak up for yourself.

Don't be afraid to speak up and let that person know when they’ve crossed a line. This doesn't mean you have to be rude or aggressive, but it does mean you need to assert yourself and let them know that you won't tolerate that shitty behaviour.

Setting boundaries and telling people where you draw the line is a form of self-care. It's not about being selfish or mean, it's about respecting yourself and your own needs. With that in mind, here are some practical tips to help you speak up for yourself and set boundaries with confidence:

🌸 Start small

If you're not used to setting boundaries/ telling people to pack it in, it can be overwhelming to try and do it all at once. So, start small. Pick one boundary that you want to set and focus on that. For example, if X person is always interrupting you during meetings, practice saying "Excuse me, Karen, I wasn't finished speaking" the next time it happens.

🌸 Use "I" statements

When setting boundaries, it's important to communicate how someone's actions are impacting you. Using "I" statements instead of "you" statements can make the conversation feel less confrontational and more collaborative. For example, instead of saying "You're always interrupting me," try saying "I feel disrespected when I'm interrupted during meetings."

🌸 Practice saying no

Saying no can be one of the hardest parts of setting boundaries, especially if you're a people pleaser. But it's important to remember that saying no doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you're prioritizing your own needs. Practice saying no in low-stakes situations, like turning down an invitation to go out with the crew when you really need a night to yourself. 

🌸 Role-play with a friend

If you're feeling nervous about setting boundaries, practice with a friend. Role-play different scenarios and practice speaking up for yourself. This can help you feel more confident and prepared when the real situation arises.

🌸 Celebrate your successes

Finally, remember to celebrate your wins. Setting boundaries can be hard work, and it's important to acknowledge and celebrate the progress you've made. Treat yourself to something you enjoy after you successfully set a boundary, whether it's a favourite snack or a quick dance party in your cabin!

 Remember, setting boundaries takes practice and it won't happen overnight. But with these practical tips and a little bit of patience, you can speak up for yourself with confidence and prioritize your own needs.

 Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and it's up to you to make that clear.

☀️ Tip #2: Take time for yourself.

Setting boundaries also means taking time for yourself and not letting demands take over your life. Make sure to schedule time for activities that you enjoy and that help you recharge your batteries. Whether it's going for a walk, practising yoga, or binge-watching your favourite show, make sure you prioritize your own needs and don't let demands take over your schedule.

☀️ Tip #3: Stay firm and consistent.

Setting boundaries can be tough, especially when dealing with someone like Karen who likes to push boundaries. But it's important to stay firm and consistent in your boundaries. Don't waiver or give in to their demands just to avoid conflict. Stick to your guns and be clear about what you will and won't tolerate.

Remember, you're the boss of your own life, and you have the power to set the tone for how others treat you.

So there you have it - with these practical tips, you can set boundaries like a boss and say goodbye to other people's idiot shenanigans once and for all. Don't let them walk all over you like a welcome mat any longer. Stand up for yourself, prioritise your own needs, and stay firm in your boundaries. You got this!



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